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When does a casual hookup turn into dating? When does it not? August 13, 6: Trying to figure out how to reasonably navigate this. Tell me about your experiences? I met John in December, and since then we have What should i expect after 5 months of hookup a casual hooking-up based thing going on, the extent of which is one of us texting the other, getting a few drinks, going back to one of our houses to have sex, and then hanging out and talking. Recently the hanging out and talking portion of that has involved a lot more touching and cuddling and just general physical intimacy.
I am feeling generally infatuated with him lately. Especially in the days right after seeing him. This is a new thing!
Is this just a byproduct of sex? Am I obligated to talk about feelings now with him? I am not sure that we would be a good dating fit, and I am hesitant to bring up feelings when I am unsure of my own and also really just want to continue having amazing, uncomplicated sex.
We were not friends nor did we know each other before we started seeing each other. We have never spoken about feelings, past relationships, or future plans. I am curious to hear experiences from others on metafilter about having ongoing casual hooking-up based relationships.
How do they end?
Has this ended for you in just phasing the person out and starting to see someone else or did you date the person? I realized What should i expect after 5 months of hookup was developing feelings for mine after about 4 months. We had the same kind of hooking up - cuddling, physical intimacy, even some emotional intimacy, and we got along really well.
But he just wasn't looking for a relationship. I kind of already knew I had to cut it off, but I talked to him about it first. I told him I was getting attached and I knew that could potentially be a problem. He wanted to stay in contact, I said no, because I knew that it would only intensify my feelings. We said good bye, it was sad. We went a few months no contact. Then, when I felt ok about it, I texted him. We started hooking up again, but he checked in with me first to make sure I was ok with it.
We continued hooking up until he moved away a few weeks ago. It was a great amicable good bye. You need to look out for yourself. I know it sounds great to continue to have awesome sex with this person you've really started to care about, but unless he's on the same page, danger that way lies. I would talk to him about it.
We would generally see each other in groups or randomly text one another.
We never went out just the two of us for drinks, nor was there ever much cuddling or talking. Both of us came to realize that we, essentially, were each other's casual hookup unicorn.
We joked about it, and I have nothing but happy memories from our times together. Sex is rarely uncomplicated. What happens after the two to three days of infatuation after seeing him? Do you still like who he is and respect him when you aren't feeling sexual desire for him? If so, maybe you should have an honest conversation with him getting at the fact that you like being around him and you might want a relationship, and if not, maybe you should have sex with someone who you will still continue to like apart from the sexual context.
What's missing from your question is whether you WANT to be dating someone. Your question is therefore posed in a passive way "such and such is happening to me - what should I make of it? Why don't you instead just first figure out if you want to be dating or not, and if so, then ask yourself whether this is the right guy for dating?
You're trying to figure out how to navigate your words something that is happening to you instead of by you. No wonder you are confused. You need to figure out if you want to try officially dating.
And then talk to him. Or if you really can't decide, talk to him anyway. My boyfriend and I started off as casual hookup partners three years ago with the intention of having solely a one-night standand are now living together and committed life partners. Looking back on it, we developed an emotional connection really quickly - it didn't take long for us to start sharing stories about our lives and families and support each other through our divorces - but it was also sometimes a really awkward transition from hooking up to dating to a full relationship.
We were almost always on the same page regarding how we felt about each other and how we treated each other, but it took us a while to get aligned in actually acknowledging that we had a relationship and what the parameters were I wrote about some of that here.
It sounds like you're less sure of how you feel about him as a possible dating partner, so I would just observe how you're feeling about him when you're not having sex. Do you enjoy talking to each other?
Do you respect him and find him interesting? Are you connecting on a non-sexual basis? I'd been hooking up with my boyfriend for two months before we ever went on a real date, and when we met that night, it was so surreal to be hanging out in public, with clothes on, going to dinner and riding the subway like anyone else. It gave us the chance to look at each other in a different light.
Solely hooking up can be such a laser-focus experience that it was really useful to put ourselves in
What should i expect after 5 months of hookup completely different environment and see how that felt. I could write a lot more, but unfortunately work intervenes - but I have written other stuff about how our relationship changed on MeFi if you want to check my history, and absolutely feel free to MeMail me.
I'm going through the same thing except its been only a month and a half of hooking up and wrote a book about it here.