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How to find out if your lesbian


Lesbians are women who are sexually and romantically attracted to other women. They prefer women for their life partners, dates, girlfriends and wives.

Figuring out your sexual orientation can be a difficult and confusing process. You might be concerned about what others will think or even confused about what to do. However, you can figure out if you are a lesbian through understanding sexual orientation as a whole, assessing your attraction level, and then planning your next steps.

Expert Co-Authored Why choose wikiHow? When you see the green expert checkmark on a wikiHow article, you can trust that it has been carefully reviewed by a qualified How to find out if your lesbian. He graduated from the American School of Professional Psychology in Think about the people who attract you.

After you know more about sexual identities, take some time to reflect more on your own. Considering the following questions can help you assess where you are on the spectrum: Have you ever had sexual thoughts for men? How often do you have both? If you have been in relationships with men, how was your level of attraction in that relationship? If you had a thought that another woman is pretty, know that this does not indicate sexual identity.

Being able to recognize beauty in others in normal. Reflect on your feelings for other women. Beyond your thoughts, begin to consider your feelings for other women. Perhaps you have even felt that you have been in love with a woman before because of "How to find out if your lesbian" you felt about that person and the fact that you pictured the two of you having a future together.

Know that this does not inherently mean that you are a lesbian, but it could mean that you are not heterosexual. Consider the following questions in assessing your feelings: Have you ever had thoughts about men in this way? Which feelings bring you more pleasure?

Think back on your actions. In addition to your thoughts and feelings, think about what you have done with other women. If you have been on dates, been in relationships, or had sex with women, then you might be a lesbian, especially if you have no interest in doing these things with men.

Talk How to find out if your lesbian those who identify as lesbian. One other way to help assess your feelings is to talk to lesbian women. You might want to find out how they realized that they were lesbian or if they always knew, what their same sex attractions were like to them, and if they ever had feelings for men. Try to find someone who you know well who you can feel comfortable asking personal questions.

Consider writing down your questions ahead of time so that you don't forget if you get nervous. After you have taken some time to reflect on your thoughts, feelings, and history, take the pressure off of yourself. Let them know that you're going to make this call over time. Stand up for yourself if you do not wish to keep talking about it.

Consider watching some television shows or films that feature lesbian characters.

Either way, if you can...

If you identify with them more than the straight characters, you might be gay. You might also want to read some books with lesbian characters, as well. Consider talking to friends or family if you feel safe. If you feel that your friends and family will be supportive of you regardless of your sexual identity, talk to them about your confusion.

Perhaps they have observed some behavior in you that you may not have even noticed in yourself, like staring at other women. Have you ever thought that maybe I am? You can say something like, "I'm glad gay marriage is legal now, but I think there are still a lot of obstacles before LGBTQ people are treated equally in our country.

What do you think? If you are likely to be abused or cut off financially, protect yourself. However, do find someone to talk to. If you aren't ready to tell anyone you know, How to find out if your lesbian a hotline, online forum, support group, or a counselor or therapist. Know that you do not have to label yourself. At the end of the day, labeling yourself as a lesbian before you are sure is not a good idea. At the same time, pretending to be straight if you know you are not is also not ideal.

Know that regardless of your sexual orientation, however, you do not have to label yourself until you are ready and sure. Be who you are apart from labels. If you feel like you need "How to find out if your lesbian" label, consider if the desire is coming from within or because you feel pressured by someone or something. Don't let anyone make you feel forced to decide.

Take some time to explore your attractions. Flirt with women and see how it makes you feel. Give a guy your number if you like him and want to chat. Consider going on a few dates with people from both genders and assess who you are attracted to more, emotionally and physically. But most of all, have fun! Some people experience sexual and romantic attraction to people of both genders, and may identify as bisexual.

What are some signs you...

Some might not be concerned about gender at all when selecting a partner and may identify as being pansexual or queer. Though you may very well be a lesbian, recognize that attraction is not always black and white. Evaluate the difference between gender and sexual orientation. Know that sex is the gender that you were assigned at birth, either male or female, based on your reproductive organs.

Sexual orientation is your sexual identity based on the gender that you are attracted to. You might be listed as female but have always identified with men and feel that you are a man. In this instance, your gender identity would be a transgender man.

Accept that sexual orientation can evolve. Today, you may "How to find out if your lesbian" want to kiss a certain woman that you know, and tomorrow you might want to kiss a guy and never think about a woman again. Recognize that attractions can change. However, if you have never been attracted to a man, and only have feelings for women, you may be a lesbian.

It's okay to follow a new path if that's what's right for you.

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Accept that you cannot change your sexual orientation. Figuring out that you are a lesbian might be difficult for you.

Figuring out if someone you're...

Perhaps your family is very religious or you live in a small town and you are afraid of the backlash you might receive should people find out. You are who you are. Accept that sexual and emotional attraction are different. Though some people might confuse the two, recognize that sexual and emotional attraction are inherently different. For instance, perhaps you have a friend who is a woman who you always want to kiss or touch, but you do not necessarily want to go out to dinner with her.

Or you may know guys who you would really like go on a date with. Know that the two attractions are different and assess what is more important to you. People of all genders are conditioned from a young age to think only about those of the opposite sex in a romantic context. Know that if your feelings for women seem purely sexual, this could be a reason why.

If you're asking yourself, "Am...

Spending some time mindfully and intentionally considering women in a romantic context can help you identify if this is the case. You can have little blips of male attraction but you never feel sexual towards them for long periods of time.

If you do, you may be bisexual, pansexual, etc. Not Helpful 4 Helpful I have dated a girl for two days but broke up because I did not feel comfortable.

However, I want to ask her out again -- what should I do? Just ask her out again.

Tell her how that last relationship made you feel and then tell her how you feel now. You might also explain that you're uncertainty is related to yourself, not to the other person. Not Helpful 2 Helpful I like my friend but I have a boyfriend that I like too.

What should I do?

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